


unholy texts

by cinderswxg



Category: The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Grishaverse, High School AU, Multi, group chat au, nikolai is always in the group 24/7, the darkling has perfect punctuation and capitalization
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2018-12-31 14:08:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12134133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinderswxg/pseuds/cinderswxg
Summary: just another grisha trilogy high school group chat au. how original.





	1. most popular girls in ravka

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nikolai, out of boredom created a group chat. zoya is not a fan of mpgis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nikkie landlord: nikolai  
> nazyalenSKY: zoya  
> jenna sapphire: genya  
> aleenuh starkohv: alina  
> dmitri dumkin: mal  
> The Darkling: aleks  
> dAVID kOSTYK: david

_**nikkie landlord** created a new group._

_**nikkie landlord** invited, **jenna sapphire** , **nazyalenSKY** , **dmitri dumkin** , **aleenuh starkohv** , **The Darkling** , and **dAVID kOSTYK** to the group._

_**nikkie landlord** renamed the group to “ **most popular girls in ravka** ”._

**nikkie landlord:** hey popular people

 **nikkie landlord:** its me your king

 **nazyalenSKY:** did you just named this group after that dumb barbie doll show

 **nikkie landlord:** a) it's not dumb

 **nikkie landlord:** it's a masterpiece

 **nikkie landlord:** b) why are you texting in class

 **nazyalenSKY:** uhhh i could ask you the same thing

 **nikkie landlord:** actually,,,, i ditched school so i'm texting from my room

 **nazyalenSKY:** you WHAT

 **nikkie landlord:** that's right soya sauce

 **nikkie landlord:** i skipped school

 _ **nikkie landlord** sent a picture_

**nazyalenSKY:** saints i hate you

 **nikkie landlord:** love you too  <<<333

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops that's all for now. pray that i could update this regularly.


	2. rocks

**aleenuh starkohv:** hey i just opened my phone what's this

 **nazyalenSKY:** nikolai lost his impulse control probably

 **nikkie landlord:** umm,,,, rude

 **The** **Darkling:** Hello.

 **nikkie landlord:** oh hey the edgelord's here

 **nikkie landlord:** hEy leksyy how are ya

 **The Darkling:**  Nikolai, I told you. Do not call me Leksy.

 **nikkie landlord:** mhmm

 **nikkie landlord:** aight leksay

 **The Darkling:** I give up.

 **jenna sapphire:** hey who's dmitri

 **aleenuh starkohv:** oh its mal !!

 **jenna sapphire:** ohHH

 **jenna sapphire:** isn't he your boyfriend

 **aleenuh starkohv:** hWAT

 **aleenuh starkohv:** WE'RE NOT DATING

 **nazyalenSKY:** oof

 **nazyalenSKY:** that mustve hurt

 **dmitri dumkin:** but we're not dating?

 **dmitri dumkin:** we're the bestest of friends right alina

 **aleenuh starkohv:** !!! exactly !!!

 **nazyalenSKY:** you guys,,,, are as sensitive as a rock

 **jenna sapphire:** umm yeah i agree with zoya but

 **jenna sapphire:** mal

 **jenna sapphire:** why is your screen name dmitri

 **jenna sapphire:** who's dmitri

 **The Darkling:** Misha dared Mal to change his screen name to “Dmitri Dumkin” for a year.

 **The Darkling:** Who Dmitri is, I do not know.

 **nikkie landlord:** how do you know this

 **The Darkling:** It is not one of your concerns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> would malina be romantic? would malina be platonic? decide.  
> [ any negativity towards mal would be blocked (malyen oretsev does not deserve this bullshit) ]


	3. the forgotten twins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nikolai is a terrible friend

**dmitri dumkin:** nikolai

**dmitri dumkin:** i cant believe you didn’t put tolya and tamar here

**dmitri dumkin:** i mean they’re like your sidekicks

**nikkie landlord:** oh sHit

**nikkie landlord:** i forgOt

**aleenuh starkohv:** goddamnit nikolai

**aleenuh starkohv:** i’m going to invite them now

**nikkie landlord:** ok bUt !! please dont tell them i forgot abt them

_**aleenuh starkohv** invited **toolya** and **tammie** to the group._

**toolya:** what the hell is this

**tammie:** why is it named after mpgis

**nazyalenSKY:** nikolai made this group a couple hours ago and forgot to invite you two

**nikkie landlord:** zoyA

**nikkie landlord:** п р е д а л а

**nazyalenSKY:** lmao fuck you

**tammie:** wow nikolai

**tammie:** we’re not friends anymore bye

**nikkie landlord:** this aLL yR fAUlT zOya

**nazyalenSKY:** ha love you too

**dAVID kOSTYK:** WHOS TAMAR AND TOLYA

**jenna sapphire:** they’re the rly smart red robes i told you a while ago

**nikkie landlord:** whoa,,,,, c/a/l/m down david

**dAVID kOSTYK:** I DONT KNOW HOW TO TURN OFF THE CAPSLOCK

**dAVID kOSTYK:** OH THANKS GENYA

**nikkie landlord:** bUT CAPSLOCK ARE AUTOMATICALLY TURNED OFF WHEN YOURE NOT USING THE KEYBOARD ???

**dAVID kOSTYK:** WE HAVE DIFFERENT COMPUTERS I GUESS

**nikkie landlord:** wait whAt

**nikkie landlord:** I THOUGHT WERE TALKING ABT PHONES HERE WHAT HAPPENED TO YR PHONE

**jenna sapphire:** mr botkin confiscated his phone for six months bc sergei and marie kept spamming his phone lmao

**dAVID kOSTYK:** YEAH

**aleenuh starkohv:** whoa really?? that fucking sucks :/

**dAVID kOSTYK:** I KNOW ;9999

**The Darkling:** David, you do know that you could just press the ‘capslock’ button next to the ‘A’ button, right?

**The Darkling:** And as for the ‘;9999’ thing, did you mean to write a frowny face? Don’t forget to press the ‘shift’ button for the alternative keys, such as ‘1’ and ‘!’.

**dAVID kOSTYK:** WHAT REALLY

**dAVID kOSTYK:** oh wow this makes so much sense now thank you darkling!

**nikkie landlord:** #lifehackswithleksy

**The Darkling:** Nikolai, please stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so like since i want the grisha orders to still exist in this au so i used my country’s high school system where you have to choose a major in high school so–
> 
> corporalki– literature  
> etherealki– biology  
> materialki– physics  
> otkazat’sya– social studies
> 
> they also use uniform with color based on their major, thus the slang ‘red robes’, ‘blue robes’, ‘purple robes’, and ‘green robes’


	4. intruder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the crew feat. y’all’s fave heartrender :)

**nikkie landlord:** ｂｅｅｆ ｂａｂｙ ｉｓ ｏｕｔ ｆｏｒ ｂｌｏｏｄ

 **aleenuh starkohv:** ,,, what

 **nikkie landlord:** nOthing

 **dmitri dumkin:** nikolai r u ok

 **nikkie landlord:** thE finest i’ve ever been

 **nazyalenSKY:** hEy bitjES its-a me yR queen

 **tammie:** zoya what happened

 **nazyalenSKY:** umMm,, zoya’s in the bathroom

 **nazyalenSKY:** this is neens

 **nikkie landlord:** nina

 **nikkie landlord:** zenik?

 **nazyalenSKY:** the one and only

 **jenna sapphire:** nina !! what are you doing @ zoya’s how come you didn’t tell me ur visiting :(((

 **nazyalenSKY:** sorRy genZ i wanted 2 surprise zoya and i couldn’t risk any leaks

 **aleenuh starkohv:** isn’t nina zenik the girl that nikolai said moved to kerch high bc she got a guy from fjerda high expelled ??

 **dmitri dumkin:** yeah !! i think nina’s face and name was also put in that honor wall or smthng for students that passed away or moved frm ravka

 **nazyalenSKY:** whAT

 **nazyalenSKY:** IS THIS WHAT THE LEADER OF STUDENT BODY DOES NOWADAYS

 **nazyalenSKY:** GOSSIPING ABT EX STUDENTS OF RAVKA

 **nazyalenSKY:** NIKOLAI,,,, IM,,, HURT

 **tammie:** correction, former. only juniors are allowed to be leaders

_**nazyalenSKY** added **neens zenski** to the group_

**King of Scars:** I JSUT CHANGED MY SCREEN NAME AND HONESTLY I FEEL SO ATTACKED RN

 **King of Scars:** ALINA MAL HOW COULD YOU

 **neens zenski:** OK HOLD ON BACKTRACK WHOS MAL N ALINA

 **aleenuh starkohv:** we’re new students !!

 **The Darkling:** They’re from Keramzin and are part of Ravka’s scholarship program to show people that they do care about the lower caste.

 **neens zenski:** i only hv a slight clue abt tht but ok

 **The Darkling:** That’s good to know.

 **King of Scars:** ok can the spotlight return 2 me now

 **King of Scars:** i c h a n g e d my screen name is anything sacred to y’all anymore

 **tammie:** king of scars

 **tammie:** edgy

 **toolya:** literally the only time i saw you with scars was when u wanted to pet oncat and she doesn’t consent

 **King of Scars:** THE PAST IS IN THE PAST

 **neens zenski:** WAIT ONCAT’S STILL ALIVE

 **toolya:** yes she is ninA

 **nazyalenSKY:** fuck you nina i never allowed you to use my phone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yAll i honestly cant wait fr king of scars hbu


	5. a mess ™

**jenna sapphire:** wait hold on king of scars

**jenna sapphire:** nikolai didn’t you said?

**jenna sapphire:** abOut the screen name?

**jenna sapphire:** you, did it?

**King of Scars:** YES

**dmitri dumkin:** did what

**King of Scars:** I DID GENYA R U PROUD

_**King of Scars** removed **neens zenski** from the group._

**dmitri dumkin:** i might b the best in geo but im so lost rn

**jenna sapphire:** AHLSLSJSJEJWBW

**jenna sapphire:** OTP

**nazyalenSKY:** what’s going on

**King of Scars:** I ASKED HIM N HE BLUSHED IT WAS SO CUTEI C A N T

**jenna sapphire:** aaAAAHHH

**dmitri dumkin:** WHAT IS GOING ON

**The Darkling:** Why am I starting to regret saying ‘Yes’.

**aleenuh starkohv:** wAit wHAT

**aleenuh starkohv:** IS THIS WHAT I THINK IT IS

**nazyalenSKY:** im fucking

**King of Scars:**  if that what i think it is includes me asking out aleks then yEs

**tammie:** never thought i’d see the day nikolai finally ask aleks out

**aleenuh starkohv:** IM

**aleenuh starkohv:** WHAT THE FUCK

**nazyalenSKY:** alina (2)

**The Darkling:** Jealous, Alina?

**aleenuh starkohv:** iM NOT JEALOUS

**aleenuh starkohv:** JUST?? SH00K

**dmitri dumkin:** this seems so out of the blue?

**dmitri dumkin:** i mean they? don’t interact much?

**tammie:** well mal if you didn’t spend the whole time staring at alina like you’ve never seen a girl then u would’ve realized

**toolya:** t h e c h e m i s t r y

**jenna sapphire:** y’all can say whatever the hell u want abt nikolai w/ aleks

**jenna sapphire:** but nikolai must fulfill his promise now

**aleenuh starkohv:** that sounds so,,, ominous??

**The Darkling:** Did he promised his unborn baby to you?

**jenna sapphire:** thinking back t it maybe i shoulda asked that

**King of Scars:** nah,,, i just promised 2 buy her shit ton of froyos

**dave:** froyo ???

**jenna sapphire:** yes froyo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im not dead i swear,,, my parents just confiscated my phone fr a while n i sorta forgot my password haha ??


	6. revival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nikolai and genya revives the group ™ by Sharing Too Much

_**Today** 01.29_

 

 **King of Scars:** i just had sex

 **the tracker ™:** u what

 **King of Scars:** and it felt so good

 **the tracker ™:** uh tmi

 **King of Scars:** a man let me put my penis inside him

 **toolya:** gey

_**King of Scars** sent a picture_

**the tracker ™:** ur mom gay lol

 **toolya:** ur dad lesbian

 **gayna safir:** im your dad ???

 **david:** we are? dating?

 **King of Scars:** no u

 **the tracker ™:** oh shit bro

 **light of ur life:** yall im crying zoya SNORES in her sleep

 **toolya:** no vid hoax

 **gayna safir:** right ??

 **gayna safir:** thts why i always leave after were done

_**light of ur life** sent a video_

**gayna safir:** well i used to stay fr sm pillow talk

 **gayna safir:** but then bye bye

 **King of Scars:** genya i love u but What The Fuck

 **gayna safir:** babe

 **gayna safir:** u were the one who revived the chat by announcing ur sex life

 **toolya:** oh shit she snApPed

 **gayna safir:** hypocrite smh

_**Today** 11.53_

 

 **nazyalenSKY:** alina u fckin traitor im breaking up w u

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in character ??? who she


End file.
